It's truly a great joy watching your writing evolve Suzie. You have something really special. I think because you are just so authentic, never shy away from the hard stuff. I admire your work greatly. 🌸💖🌸
I should say from the start that although I sometimes write in fragments myself, I paradoxically have very little tolerance for fragmented work as a reader, precisely because not everyone knows how to do it. When it is done badly it feels like a shortcut, a way of avoiding the harder work of sustained narrative. So I came to this with a particular kind of resistence. The opening section with the flowers could have bored me to death. I hate wit heavy irony. I could write an essay on how much I dislike wit. And yet it worked. It made me fear the whole piece would be like that, and then it was not. What disarmed me was realising the irony was not the destination, it was a way of building expectations in order to dismantle them, and that dismantling is part of how the piece functions itself. Dianthus is the moment where you realise you know what you are doing. “Would smell so cheap” closes on three levels at once, the flower, the relationship, and the act of sending flowers as an apology. The 02:52 message section is, in my view, the most formally brillant. That timestamp carries real weight. “Sent at 02:52” says everything about who that man was and the state you were in. Then 1997 is the most vulnerable piece. The form is more traditional, less defensive. It lands even harder precisely because it comes after sections that are heavily armoured. The prose section on ego-dystonic thought is where the collection becomes something larger. It is not disorganised, it is how dissociation actually works, that juxtaposition of the grandiose and the mundane. “Shall we” is unbearable in the best way. British politeness as a form of polite violence. There would be another three hundred things to say, but I risk never finishing. What sets you apart from others working in this style is your restraint. You know when to stop. You never overreach or push the reader with the idea of impact for its own sake. It hits, but I am never forced to feel that it is hitting me. It just happens. And I think that restraint is not only aesthetic, in a collection that deals with relational violence, with control, with bodies held under pressure, choosing not to exert pressure on the reader is also an ethical act. The form mirrors the content in reverse: where the relationships described force and withhold, the writing lets go.
Ah! I will add, as if it were not already long enough: every shift in form corresponds to a shift in emotional or cognitive state. That is real craft, not lucky instinct.
Livio, this is you being concise?! Seriously thank you so much for this, genuinely means so very much to me. I don’t have any writing credentials other than having lived all this shit and writing is just me trying to metabolise it all in my own voice and in a way that feels most authentic to me. I don’t workshop anything so I rarely get detailed feedback, to have such a thoughtful response from you has genuinely floored me. I am saving this in my notes to re-read and may actually print it on the wall for future inspiration! 🖤🖤🖤
Actually, I did try to be concise, but I failed. I had a lot to say and, unfortunately, I am hypercritical even with my own work. You are talented, so you deserve attention like anyone who genuinely puts effort into expressing themselves. And you did it well, so it feels right to tell you that. You do not need to frame my comment, but you should frame your progress, especially if you are doing all of this on your own. As for me, I will learn the gift of brevity, but today is clearly not the day 😂
Well, I am grateful you said it all! It is so useful and has me thinking. Most of my writing just lurches out of me so to understand structure more clearly is helpful for days when it is harder to write. Thank you Livio 🖤
Wow, this is amazing Suzie. So so good. I love this form also. This was riveting and so deeply moving. "I stay awake till 3 a.m...." was just so so familiar. And the end — just knocks you to the floor. Also I really love the title.
what kind of man agrees to no contact? that sounds perfectly ridiculous.
no contact is like a pink slipped tax bill slipped under the door when you least expect it. it used to be reserved for the most heinous, grievous offenses [like violence, or rape, or threats, or something involving terrible things].
now people do it just to watch one another's expressions change and write it off as part of the relationship running its course. it makes communication impossible and reconciliation hyperdifficil.
if these sorts of backwards policies existed when we were mere zygotes, easily three quarters of us would never have been born. the concept of mansplaining alone would have knocked half of us out of the box.
people used to try and make things work, and if they didn't, they didn't. and people moved on, but you didn't have to erect battlements in your social strata insodoing.
If there is reconciliation to be had, let’s have it. Except for where there was IPV and the guy broke into my flat. This one was married and would not leave yet could not leave me alone, it kicked the arse out of everything. No contact was preferable to slow death x
It's truly a great joy watching your writing evolve Suzie. You have something really special. I think because you are just so authentic, never shy away from the hard stuff. I admire your work greatly. 🌸💖🌸
Oh my love thank you 🥺💖 this means so much to me. I appreciate you so very much 🩷🩷
Oh you're so welcome. And I mean every word. Appreciate you too my friend 🌸💖
I should say from the start that although I sometimes write in fragments myself, I paradoxically have very little tolerance for fragmented work as a reader, precisely because not everyone knows how to do it. When it is done badly it feels like a shortcut, a way of avoiding the harder work of sustained narrative. So I came to this with a particular kind of resistence. The opening section with the flowers could have bored me to death. I hate wit heavy irony. I could write an essay on how much I dislike wit. And yet it worked. It made me fear the whole piece would be like that, and then it was not. What disarmed me was realising the irony was not the destination, it was a way of building expectations in order to dismantle them, and that dismantling is part of how the piece functions itself. Dianthus is the moment where you realise you know what you are doing. “Would smell so cheap” closes on three levels at once, the flower, the relationship, and the act of sending flowers as an apology. The 02:52 message section is, in my view, the most formally brillant. That timestamp carries real weight. “Sent at 02:52” says everything about who that man was and the state you were in. Then 1997 is the most vulnerable piece. The form is more traditional, less defensive. It lands even harder precisely because it comes after sections that are heavily armoured. The prose section on ego-dystonic thought is where the collection becomes something larger. It is not disorganised, it is how dissociation actually works, that juxtaposition of the grandiose and the mundane. “Shall we” is unbearable in the best way. British politeness as a form of polite violence. There would be another three hundred things to say, but I risk never finishing. What sets you apart from others working in this style is your restraint. You know when to stop. You never overreach or push the reader with the idea of impact for its own sake. It hits, but I am never forced to feel that it is hitting me. It just happens. And I think that restraint is not only aesthetic, in a collection that deals with relational violence, with control, with bodies held under pressure, choosing not to exert pressure on the reader is also an ethical act. The form mirrors the content in reverse: where the relationships described force and withhold, the writing lets go.
I’ll use some brevity and say…truth !
😂🖤 thank youuu! X
My hero.
Ah! I will add, as if it were not already long enough: every shift in form corresponds to a shift in emotional or cognitive state. That is real craft, not lucky instinct.
Livio, this is you being concise?! Seriously thank you so much for this, genuinely means so very much to me. I don’t have any writing credentials other than having lived all this shit and writing is just me trying to metabolise it all in my own voice and in a way that feels most authentic to me. I don’t workshop anything so I rarely get detailed feedback, to have such a thoughtful response from you has genuinely floored me. I am saving this in my notes to re-read and may actually print it on the wall for future inspiration! 🖤🖤🖤
Actually, I did try to be concise, but I failed. I had a lot to say and, unfortunately, I am hypercritical even with my own work. You are talented, so you deserve attention like anyone who genuinely puts effort into expressing themselves. And you did it well, so it feels right to tell you that. You do not need to frame my comment, but you should frame your progress, especially if you are doing all of this on your own. As for me, I will learn the gift of brevity, but today is clearly not the day 😂
Well, I am grateful you said it all! It is so useful and has me thinking. Most of my writing just lurches out of me so to understand structure more clearly is helpful for days when it is harder to write. Thank you Livio 🖤
Woah Suzie! This should be in print! You write with such strength and courage 🖤🖤🖤
Greg 🥺 kindest words as always, thank you so very much 🖤🖤🖤
I was engaged the whole way through. So many puzzle pieces to the story of Suzie. Your notes app is a goldmine
🖤thank you my love. Yes my life is a minefield. Plenty of writing fodder!
Hi Suzie, even after a relationship ends, sometimes the body remembers things before the mind does, right?
The body tracks all 🖤
These read like notes, but they keep assembling into a piece anyway.
Something continuous moves through them, even in disorder.
Beautiful writing.
Jeanne, thank you so much, this means a huge amount to me 🖤
Wow, this is amazing Suzie. So so good. I love this form also. This was riveting and so deeply moving. "I stay awake till 3 a.m...." was just so so familiar. And the end — just knocks you to the floor. Also I really love the title.
Kaila, thank you, so kind. I am moved that it connected with you in this way. So much love to you 🖤🖤
what kind of man agrees to no contact? that sounds perfectly ridiculous.
no contact is like a pink slipped tax bill slipped under the door when you least expect it. it used to be reserved for the most heinous, grievous offenses [like violence, or rape, or threats, or something involving terrible things].
now people do it just to watch one another's expressions change and write it off as part of the relationship running its course. it makes communication impossible and reconciliation hyperdifficil.
if these sorts of backwards policies existed when we were mere zygotes, easily three quarters of us would never have been born. the concept of mansplaining alone would have knocked half of us out of the box.
people used to try and make things work, and if they didn't, they didn't. and people moved on, but you didn't have to erect battlements in your social strata insodoing.
i guess i'm just wired differently than most.
If there is reconciliation to be had, let’s have it. Except for where there was IPV and the guy broke into my flat. This one was married and would not leave yet could not leave me alone, it kicked the arse out of everything. No contact was preferable to slow death x
I'm so sorry that happened to you — that is truly awful.
Life is complicated, I did not know how vulnerable I was until I walked into that. I now know how strong I am 🖤
I completely get it -- been in similar situations.
What the hell is IPV?! C'mon, you know I'm can't keep up with all this newfangled slang. :)
You sound like you’re a hundred 😂 partner violence my dear, wonderful topic for someone just waking up!
I adore how you ground your poetry in real place and time. you’re incredible, Suzie. your words always find their mark. beautiful work, poet.
Ryan, thank you so very much 🥺🖤🖤🖤
So compelling and honest. Phew. Love it.
Nancy, thank you so much really appreciate you taking the time to read 🖤🖤🖤
Awfully raw ❤️🔥
I learnt from you!
Yes, it’s a synergy
🖤🖤🖤