I particularly enjoyed two things. One: the tactical (and restrained) use of alliteration [low-hanging liburnum tree]. Two the selective imagery: the libernum tree choice (versus just any old 'tree); the shag carpet choice (versus floor or a less complex carpet) and the bubble gum choice (injection of kiddish whimsy into a more complex mood). This interplay of light and dark crescendos more clearly with the lighthouse v the dark tide and sky. I'm a better future writer for reading this poem.
The image of the lighthouse illuminating "a hesitant shadow" stayed with me. It feels as though the poem keeps moving between memory and dream without ever deciding which is more real. I loved that quiet uncertainty—it made the ending linger long after I finished reading.
Antonio, thank you so much ☺️ I was thinking about different life stages, events, objects and sensory details and wanted to blend them all together. Thank you for a wonderful read of my work 🖤
unable to close its eyes" this line is so beautiful. Imagery is vivid. Also, I could analyze this piece as a "diary of an insomniac" maybe. Though it might have different meaning but it is a nice read. Thanks for writing. ✨🌹
I particularly enjoyed two things. One: the tactical (and restrained) use of alliteration [low-hanging liburnum tree]. Two the selective imagery: the libernum tree choice (versus just any old 'tree); the shag carpet choice (versus floor or a less complex carpet) and the bubble gum choice (injection of kiddish whimsy into a more complex mood). This interplay of light and dark crescendos more clearly with the lighthouse v the dark tide and sky. I'm a better future writer for reading this poem.
Gosh, David, thank you so very much 🖤
Love this, especially: "Together we pull at the tide, asking it which way to go." <3
Thank you so much Petra! 💗💗💗
The image of the lighthouse illuminating "a hesitant shadow" stayed with me. It feels as though the poem keeps moving between memory and dream without ever deciding which is more real. I loved that quiet uncertainty—it made the ending linger long after I finished reading.
Antonio, thank you so much ☺️ I was thinking about different life stages, events, objects and sensory details and wanted to blend them all together. Thank you for a wonderful read of my work 🖤
Lovely poem , "sleep-deprived firefly
unable to close its eyes" this line is so beautiful. Imagery is vivid. Also, I could analyze this piece as a "diary of an insomniac" maybe. Though it might have different meaning but it is a nice read. Thanks for writing. ✨🌹